I haven’t posted in a while. I suppose that’s in part because I created this blog as the sense of a big change loomed larger with each day. Though I created this blog for myself to process, to find the beauty in this offbeat equilibrium we are seeking…there were so many thoughts running through my head that I couldn’t put my finger on or articulate.
I’m ready now.
Since January, we’ve started occupational therapy for the new diagnosis of sensory processing disorder. As a result of this and fine motor delay, he was given an Individualized Education Program (IEP) which provides him accommodations & services in school. When he stopped engaging in many of the coping mechanisms and his “freeze response” made more regular appearances, we added a licensed mental health counselor for anxiety. She then suggested that he seemed to have a hard time communicating with her, leading to a speech-language pathologist and the diagnoses of phonological disorder, mixed receptive/expressive language disorder, and suspected central auditory processing disorder.
He’s the same amazing kid he’s always been. But now, to try to help the world be a little bit less overwhelming and upsetting, it is a lot of work. And sometimes all that effort can temporarily make everyday things harder. He’s tired. The grown-ups are tired. The toddler brother doesn’t quite understand.
Enrollment in special education, 3 specialists, and creating this blog later…I posted on a Facebook group that provides support for sensory needs caregivers. I admitted that the new normal was becoming clear and I needed to accept it so we could all do our best. I asked the group’s advice. The outpouring was astounding.
After that feedback asked some reflection settled. I realized that I could be okay with the title of special needs mama if it meant that I got to be his mama.